Why not a Smart Car?
We’re not getting a SmartCar because we don’t drive enough to warrant an expensive car no matter how fuel efficient it is. That’s according to Lindi, also known as Miss Utterly Practical and Sensible from Minnesota.
Those little babies ain’t cheap. And it’s not as if they use no gas at all. They are gasoline fueled, they just use much, much less than a real car. Lindi says we already use much, much less than a real car by hardly ever driving the cars we have.
Paring down to one car between us is an obvious choice. But we can’t decide which car to pare down to. She votes for getting rid of my car and I vote for getting rid of hers. She’s winning though, because – you guessed it – her car is more practical. (It’s a hatchback so we can haul stuff in it.) We’ve considered selling both of them and getting something we both like. But the Smartcar is out because besides being expensive, it can’t haul anything and only seats two. A used Subaru station wagon would make more sense.
That’s all fine and good, but what about the cuteness factor? She’s not figuring that into the equation at all. I have my image to consider. What will the neighbors think? They’ll think we’re ordinary, mindless, gas guzzling, polluting consumers – like them. I want a car in the driveway that says, “Look at us. Aren’t we fabulous? Don’t you wish you were us? This little number is all we need in the world. Don’t you feel foolish tooling around in that monster of yours?”
Just one block down from us, the parked cars take up so much space that kids can’t play in the street. Our neighborhood has the most basketball hoops, but what’s the use if the big fat cars are in the way? Our block, actually, is the least parked-up block around here. Not very many cars are parked on the street, and the cars that are there aren’t that huge. On our block the kids can skateboard, play basketball, baseball, anything. When Lindi and I shrink down to one car it’ll free up the street even more because we’ll keep it in the driveway.
The Joneses across the street have one of those VW beetles. I don’t see how I can be happy unless we get something smaller than they have.