The Scrooge Family Converges on Portland

My family has this great Christmas tradition – we don’t give gifts. Along comes the first week of December and somebody says, “Hey, why don’t we skip the presents this year,” as if it were the first time we’d thought of it. Then someone else says: “Yay. Good idea.”

Of course we always gave presents to the children – who can resist that? -- but no presents among adults. The other rule was that if any kid wanted to give a present, it had to be handmade by them – a tradition which produced a collection of child art none of us can let go of.

We all love the release from pressure and obligation – it’s the greatest gift in the world. While the entire population of Portland (the country) is out there spending more money than they have on items people neither need nor want, we The Scrooge Family are skipping the whole chaotic scene. It makes me love them more.

Instead, vast numbers of now adult children and grandchildren converge and loiter in my mother’s kitchen, picking at the food, getting in the way, and trying to look like we’re helping while she continues to throw together meals that make even the best restaurants a sorry alternative.

Yesterday I went to pick up one of my sisters from the airport. I hate it that I drove my car. (She didn’t hate it.) But while I was hating it, I thought through the perfect way to pick someone up from the airport completely by bike. It may sound crazy, but it’s not stupid. Nor is it difficult! I’ve got it all worked out, and you’ll love it so much you’ll want to do it too! I will describe it in detail in my next posting.