Wednesday, April 26, 2006

Cosmic Loser Strikes Innocent Biker, Seizes Bike Equipment

I’m so annoyed! I lost one of my bike gloves. Too bad I don’t live in New York City, where someone patrols the street looking for lost gloves and then posts them on a website with time, date, and location. Click on this.

I’ve recently lost three bike things. That’s what happens when you lose something – you lose two more things. So if you lose one thing, just know that it’s coming. You can’t avoid it. Don’t try staying home and hiding everything. A better strategy is to behave carelessly with relatively unimportant items and hope that you lose one of those instead. I obviously neglected to try this, so I’m out three valuable possessions. I’m not sure it would work anyway because it may be that the Cosmic Loser is only satisfied with important items.

The first thing was my rain pants – REI black goretex rain pants that fit me perfectly, zippered up to the knee so that they slid right on over my shoes and jeans. I never got too hot or too cold in these rain pants. They cost me $70 dollars. I’m so MAD! I’m mad as HECK!

The second thing I lost was my helmet light – and I know exactly why that happened. It’s directly related to my recent experience with a UFO, and I will explain all that in the next episode so that you can avoid a similar fate. And the third thing I lost was the glove. The gloves are fabulous. I will tell you more about them later, and what happened to one of them. And no doubt you’re dying to know how one loses one’s pants, so I’ll explain that later too.

The day I bought the rain pants and the gloves was the day I completed my conversion to everyday, all weather cycling. Check back with me in a day or two for tips on finding and not losing the best bike equipment. Consider me your personal bike equipment researcher and spiritual advisor.


Post a Comment

<< Home