the Greenjackets are back! And just in time!

Did I say the Uniformed Ones were a disappearing breed? I take it back. Here's a story I wrote a couple of weeks ago but haven't posted yet. Pretend it's Friday, June 4th.

The Guinness World Record for foul language and lurid content was broken today right here on the MAX train between Gresham and Portland Oregon.

Six loudmouth girls in their twenties sat in front of me tonight on the way home. OK, now I ain't no church-lady, but I never in my life heard that much filth in such a short expanse of time. No two words came out in a row without the insertion of fuck, bitch, or the like. But that's not so unusual, and nothing to write home about. The sewage carried by the language beat the nastiness of the vocabulary all to hell. The rest of the passengers were bludgeoned with extremely loud and unbelievably crass descriptions of their sexual acts with various men -- each of whom they had apparently shared. I found myself actually wincing. When I got home I felt I needed to take a bath, and pull out my brain and run it through the washing machine.

Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeewww!!

And no, it didn't even occur to me to move. Why should I move? I was settled in with my stuff in a seat where I could watch my bike, and the train was full. If anyone should move, it should be them.

That was the suggestion of the chartruse jacketed transit security guy who walked up from the other end of the train and told them to stop it. He held his ground in the face of buckets full of sass hurled back in his face.
"We can cuss if we want! We grown!" and other gems.

He told them they could cuss all they want, but not on the public transportation where other people who found it offensive had to listen to it.

More loud sass back at him.

"I'm not going to argue about it with you," he said calmly. "But if you continue, you're going to have to get off at the next stop." His face was reddening but he held his composure.

They toned it down somewhat, but got off at the next stop on their own. Maybe they felt it was too much work to maintain that level of civility.