the Greenjackets are back! And just in time!

Did I say the Uniformed Ones were a disappearing breed? I take it back. Here's a story I wrote a couple of weeks ago but haven't posted yet. Pretend it's Friday, June 4th.

The Guinness World Record for foul language and lurid content was broken today right here on the MAX train between Gresham and Portland Oregon.

Six loudmouth girls in their twenties sat in front of me tonight on the way home. OK, now I ain't no church-lady, but I never in my life heard that much filth in such a short expanse of time. No two words came out in a row without the insertion of fuck, bitch, or the like. But that's not so unusual, and nothing to write home about. The sewage carried by the language beat the nastiness of the vocabulary all to hell. The rest of the passengers were bludgeoned with extremely loud and unbelievably crass descriptions of their sexual acts with various men -- each of whom they had apparently shared. I found myself actually wincing. When I got home I felt I needed to take a bath, and pull out my brain and run it through the washing machine.

Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeewww!!

And no, it didn't even occur to me to move. Why should I move? I was settled in with my stuff in a seat where I could watch my bike, and the train was full. If anyone should move, it should be them.

That was the suggestion of the chartruse jacketed transit security guy who walked up from the other end of the train and told them to stop it. He held his ground in the face of buckets full of sass hurled back in his face.
"We can cuss if we want! We grown!" and other gems.

He told them they could cuss all they want, but not on the public transportation where other people who found it offensive had to listen to it.

More loud sass back at him.

"I'm not going to argue about it with you," he said calmly. "But if you continue, you're going to have to get off at the next stop." His face was reddening but he held his composure.

They toned it down somewhat, but got off at the next stop on their own. Maybe they felt it was too much work to maintain that level of civility.

Never mind. My one and only slide show EVER.

Ok, I’ll spare you my first ever attempted blog slide show and cut right to the action. The Blessing of the Bikes was going to be next but I’m being begged for the previously promised “Bordello Personnel observed riding the MAX Train.” Maybe I’d better get that one out of the way and then clean up with the holier topic.

Lemme sleep on it. It’s late now.

From A to B and back again

Ever notice how the more interesting life gets, the harder it is to find time to write it down? It's not for want of EVENTS that blogging has been sparse. Handlebars or not, the underlying theme remains: transporting ourselves, our loved ones, our animules, and our it-ems from A to B.

Upcoming stories:

• Trip to eastern Oregon results in increase in Portland’s cat population.
• Possible car death imminent, really this time.
• Research and shopping for foldable bike drawing to a close.
• Transit security censors bordello personnel riding on train.
  

Trains Roll On, Peepless

Still not a peep of authority visible or audible on the MAX. Not one. Is the flurry to assuage public fear over already? Come ON, people! It's only been a few months since the baseball bat beating that started all this, and we had a fresh shooting the other night.

No time to blog today, but here's a quote I jotted down today while on the train:

"Some people shoots themselves in the head and lives. Some people shoots themselves in the head and dies. You don't get to choose."

(Who knows? I came in on the middle of it and the guy saying it got off at the next stop.)

Tomorrow: back to Italy.

Don't worry.... woman shot through the leg was not I

I haven't forgotten about Italian Cliff Driving. I just haven't had a spare minute. Maybe I can squeeze it into my lunch break tomorrow.

Meanwhile, back in SafetyLand (here), an update on the public transportation:

All of a sudden the blanketing of the MAX trains with cops, security guards, fare collectors, and manners police seems to have come to a screeching halt. I haven't seen any of them for days. This is weird in light of last night's shooting at the 162nd Avenue MAX station. Does anybody know how that played out? I haven't been able to find any follow-up coverage in today's news, and last night all they knew was that a woman in her twenties got shot through the leg while crossing the road there.

What I'm wondering is: Did she know the shooter? Because if she did, this isn't going to scare me, since I'm 95% sure no one I know wants to shoot me. However if this was totally random, then I will be.... somewhat concerned that this can happen to anyone.

One consoling thought remains:
It happened late at night, and you won't find me roaming the seedy parts of town, or the public transportation, late at night.

So that means I'm safe, right?

Rider Advocates -- can you fight slobness with friendliness?

Sorry I'm late. I know this is way past tomorrow. About the Rider Advocates: I haven't seen hide nor hair of them since I last wrote -- which isn't to say they're not still out there. Anyway, as I was saying --

They swarm on, and.... maybe I shouldn't say swarm, since that makes them sound like a SWAT team. They mosey on. They make eye contact with people and say hello. They introduce who they are and what they're doing, which they describe as being available to advocate for passengers in any customer service issues that might come up. They chat with people, but they're not in-your-face friendly. I haven't wanted to slap any of them so far.

What they're doing is creating an amiable atmosphere among whoever's around them. One day I watched as they turned a whole section of the train into a friendly living room. A group of Spanish speaking passengers from out of town had just boarded. They sounded like educated professional types, and were very interested in this idea of Rider Advocates. They'd been on the subway systems of Europe and New York, and they were telling their tales, and comparing. One of them told about a stabbing he'd witnessed right on the New York subway. The Rider Advocates remained standing and most of the passengers were sitting down, in the door area of the train where the seats line the sides and face inward.

After about ten minutes of animated conversation among seven or eight participants, the guy I'd been talking to earlier, named Chris, noticed that a teenaged boy sitting among the group wasn't following the conversation. He walked over to him and introduced himself in English and asked him if he understood what the conversation was about, to which the boy answered no. So Chris translated it for him and started a conversation with him about the other conversation, which the boy seemed to appreciate.

The Rider Advocates I've heard so far are all flawlessly bilingual in both Spanish and English. They excel at people skills and the art of mingling. But I haven't seen them deal with any negative situations yet, so whether they would address them or not remains to be seen. Would they be willing to approach some super loudmouth blaring away on his cellphone? What would they say to a big muddy lout with his feet on the seat? Would they ask passengers to turn off their music? Would they let passengers know when their headphones are not working at ALL and serve only to make their music sound like a ten dollar transistor radio from the fifties?

It seems like a good approach -- a cocktail party without the drinks. But I wonder. Time will tell. I'll report in if I see them at work again.

Manners Police in Portland?

Well, not exactly. They're certainly not using the P word - that wouldn't go over well here. If you completed yesterday's assignment, you read about how the Japanese are doing it. Here they're calling them Rider Advocates.

I kept seeing these little bands of guys and gals in grey windbreakers with a shiny horizontal stripe across the middle. The other day while waiting on the Gresham Transit Center platform, there they were again. Seven of them. I started talking to one. "What are you guys?" I asked. "Is grey the new lime green?" I thought maybe the Wakenhut guys had changed their jackets. On the other hand, I was still seeing the lime green jackets around occasionally, so hmmmmm....... I was confused.

Oh wait! That reminds me, I have to tell you something: You remember my post about the Wackenhut guys? I happened to snap a picture of one slumped over in a coma? (The post is WAY too long - just scroll to the bottom of it for the action photo.) OK, several weeks after that, I googled the name Wackenhut just out of curiosity and --- this is TOOOO funny -- it just so happens they've gotten all kinds of bad press for being caught sleeping on the job! Like at nuclear power plants and stuff.

So you see? If you want the latest scoop on national trends, my blog is the place to go. You won't miss out on the news even if I don't read it myself. I have a way of picking up on what's happening and just transmitting it, even unknowingly. (WOOoooo!)

Anyway, back to the Guys & Gals in Grey. Oooops. Outa time. I had a long chat with one named Chris till the train came, then I boarded and watched the seven of them swarm on and snap into action. More about that tomorrow.

WWJD? Call the Manners Police

The BBC has a story called "'Manners police' hit Japan metros."
This is tooo good! You gotta read it.

Some excerpts:

"Badly behaved commuters riding on Yokohama's public transport will soon be risking a dressing-down. Newly appointed "etiquette police" will be asking travellers to turn down their headphones and give up their seats for their elders and betters.
---
"This perceived lapse included failing to offer your seat to pregnant and elderly people, chatting loudly on mobile phones, applying make-up in public, and listening to music on "leaky" headphones.
---
"But many of these enforcers will be accompanied by younger bodyguards, should their etiquette advice - diplomatically given, of course - not prove welcome."

OK, but here's the kicker: There's something similar brewing in Portland! I kid you not. I ran into it just the other day. And I'll tell you ALL ABOUT IT next time I post.

WWJD? Call the Manners Police

The BBC has a story called "'Manners police' hit Japan metros."
This is tooo good! You gotta read it.

Some excerpts:

"Badly behaved commuters riding on Yokohama's public transport will soon be risking a dressing-down. Newly appointed "etiquette police" will be asking travellers to turn down their headphones and give up their seats for their elders and betters.
---
"This perceived lapse included failing to offer your seat to pregnant and elderly people, chatting loudly on mobile phones, applying make-up in public, and listening to music on "leaky" headphones.
---
"But many of these enforcers will be accompanied by younger bodyguards, should their etiquette advice - diplomatically given, of course - not prove welcome."

OK, but here's the kicker: There's something similar brewing in Portland! I kid you not. I ran into it just the other day. And I'll tell you ALL ABOUT IT next time I post.