Andrew: His Own Mammal
Meet Andrew. I did. Why? When a cyclist whooshes by me wearing a kangaroo head and it’s not Halloween, I make a point of meeting that person. I’m a cyclist reporting on what cyclists are doing, and as such I feel it’s my job to bring you what’s really happening out there on the front lines of cycling in Portland.
We saw him from our car on the way to my parents’ house for the evening. I had Lindi do a hairpin turn in the middle of the street and chase him down. (Lindi is not fond of hairpin turns, and I would never suggest such a thing under ordinary circumstances, but we would have lost him had we not acted swiftly.)
At first he was reticent.
“It’s just a hat,” he said, shrugging his shoulders.
Under further questioning he admitted that it was a special hat, then conceded that it was different, and finally admitted it was in fact a totally unique hat.
And just where did he procure such a feral bonnet?
A friend gave him a kangaroo suit for his birthday, he revealed. He didn’t feel it would be appropriate to wear the suit on a daily basis, so he decapitated it so he could wear just the head.
In spite of his initial reluctance to cast his choice of head-wear as anything out of the ordinary, in the end Mr. Andrew admitted that it was in truth the sheer absurdity of it that compelled him to wear it.
It wasn’t easy extracting all this information from this guy. Like interviewing a kangaroo. But a good reporter will dog the right questions till the real story surfaces. Just remember you know where to come for the lowdown on the hidden underbelly of Portland cycling.
Tell your friends. One covets ever-increasing readership if one is a writer. Does one not?