Today's Do-Do List

I have been everywhere on this bike today – I must’ve ridden 25 miles doing errands all around the city. I could’ve done it by car, but it would’ve been infinitely more hassle, with all the extra circling I would’ve had to do in order to find parking, which I would’ve had to pay for in addition to the extra gas consumed. Plus I woulda missed all the great scenes I photographed! (I got tired of contracting the word “have” so I’m hereby declaring “woulda” a word -- along with shoulda, coulda, and musta. As an English teacher I have that right.)

I’m in a rush this evening, but just to give you at least something, tonight’s topic is: dog-do. It seems that as a society we have finally begun to see some success in training people that it’s really NOT ok to just let your dog poop where it will. Dog-people have at last begun to internalize the idea that when their dog does this, it is the dog-person’s social responsibility to somehow coax the poop into a plastic bag. Though exactly how people accomplish this feat has been far too gruesome for someone as squeamish as myself to even begin to imagine, I have been pleased that the community education program in charge of this appears to be partially working.

Problem: These people need to go back and take the follow-up course about what to do with the plastic bag once they have completed the loathsome task of causing the poop to be relocated to the inside the bag. Because now, instead of dog poop lying around everywhere, we are seeing bags of dog poop lying around everywhere. Without the crucial following step, which presumably would be to transfer the bag of poop to a garbage receptacle, I do not perceive this current situation as much of an improvement. Before the trainings, we had poop lying everywhere, as if to say, “Here I am. I’m hiding. Hope you don’t step on me by mistake.” What we have now is bags of poop lying everywhere saying, “HEY! LOOK AT ME! I’m a bag of poop! I’m a big poop-in-a-bag! Notice me! Here I am! At least now you probably won’t step on me because you’ll see the bag, and even if you do, it won’t be so bad. Not like in the old days, when stepping on me could nix your chances at that job interview! Ha ha!”

Now, besides stepping in it occasionally, we have to hear all about it, constantly. Look at this picturesque scene on the bike path down along the river, where not one, but two or three bags of poop have been arranged in a still life on top of this boulder. Would someone please tell me what kind of brain these people have.