Saturday, June 24, 2006

The Fourth Horse from the Sun

Here it is – with a mane like a bad wig.

Notice anything about this horse that’s different from the previous one? And the one before that? It’s bigger. Yes, I think the horses are getting bigger. I think the horse installers are plotting to gradually keep replacing them with bigger and bigger ones. Pretty soon there will be rocking horses so that passersby can stop for a brief rock. Maybe then they’ll start installing those grocery store coin-operated bumpety-horses. That alone would be heaven. Do you know how many times I begged my mother to let me ride the bumpety-horse at the grocery store? Begged. And do you know how many times I actually got to ride the horse? Let’s just say I have more than enough fingers to count them. I’m not holding a grudge or anything. Bitterness doth not dwell in my heart. However, the result is an adult whose idea of good urban planning would include adult-sized coin-operated bumpety-horses on every street corner.

That just may be what they’re working up to with these plastic horse installations, given that their size is increasing. After that, actual real horses will start showing up, gradually, here and there, attached to the horse rings, until people will grow so accustomed to seeing horses milling around that eventually they will begin to feel like it would be the most natural thing in the world to go out and purchase a live horse of their own and start using it for transportation. We all know darn well that deep inside people are lemmings – all they really want is to be like everyone else.

And of course this whole subversive but noble plan is being timed precisely to coincide with the constant and dramatic rise of gasoline prices we are experiencing in the day of our Shrub.

You might want to print out a copy of this post and "post" it on your bulletin board so that when all this comes about, you can point to it and say, “Look. I was one of the first to know. I read that this was going to happen way back at the beginning.”


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