Monday, May 21, 2007

Life is so high maintenance

I haven't posted for several days because I’ve been busy. I’ve been writing the article that would not end, the article that kept coming back, the article that would not go away. Among other things.

Life is so high maintenance I can’t even believe it. There are about a hundred things that will fall right into the abyss of doom if you don’t keep on top of them constantly. The most high maintenance thing is the human body, the second most is the human household.

We'll start with the body. The minute you slack off on exercising, every molecule of your body starts to go to hell in a handbasket. And you don’t get to retire. Au contraire, the older you get, the more crucial it becomes. When you’re younger you can slouch for a week, a month, and get away with it. But even though the older you get, the less you feel like it, it is also true that the older you get, the less you can play hooky. You skip three days in a row and you feel like you’ve never exercised in your life.

That is so not right.

The only hope is to make exercising totally fun -- or at least as fun as possible. Hence my biking habit. Totally fun most of the time. A big pain some of the time. There are so many details of life that are tedious, that if you don’t find a way to make them fun they’re just not going to happen. Riding a bike around town is fun. Exerting yourself on a machine that requires an equal amount of work but goes absolutely nowhere is not fun, at least not for me. I am not a hamster and I will not be fooled.

And now the dwelling. If anybody knows how to make cleaning house fun, do tell. The minute you slack off on vacuuming, your house becomes so full of tumbleweeds that you need soccer shoes just to get across a room. Vacuuming is so not fun. It can be improved slightly by obtaining a vacuum cleaner that you love, but still.



At 9:11 AM, Anonymous Leslie McKerns said...

Well, you can do what I did. I bought a Roomba (sp?) a self taught tiny menacing robot that vacuums for you. Ostensibly, you can justify it as I did, I am a writer! I publicize people! I have no time to vacuum! Then you can spend your down time as I do, cleaning its little wheels of the fur balls and answering its angry bleeps as it gets stuck or does not like the current state of affairs. But I love the idea and am not giving up on the concept of a fur free existence. Just maybe on having the time to write...

At 10:07 AM, Blogger kate gawf said...

Fur-free existence? Ooooooh. I got major ideas for how to make that happen. But I think I'd be outvoted by my partner and her two furry friends. Not that any of them vacuum, so I don't know why they should even get a vote, really.

That robot thing sounds like a start in the right direction, but it looks like it still needs work. Back to the drawing board please, I am not babysitting a mechanical device. You should writer a product review for that, submit it to Salon, it could be really funny.

At 5:36 PM, Blogger Emily said...

I'm told there are people on Craig's list who will come clean your house free of charge, and they don't wear any clothes!


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