Memorial Day weather misleads thousands of tourists

Nothing better than to stay home on a holiday weekend and watch the city empty out. Especially when it’s a 3-day weekend, that day sandwiched into the middle is so blissfully quiet. I wouldn’t miss it. The few people that stick around are all on slow mo. Like me.

No doubt for some vacationers, Portland was a destination. These are dangerous times, my friends. Our holiday weather has been so unbelievably perfect that many of those hapless visitors will leap to the conclusion that they would find true happiness if only they moved here. That results in a growing population of wrist-slitters who can’t manage our dreary damp grey never-ending winters. If you know someone on the verge of such an error, do them the kindness of informing them of the truth. Otherwise we’ll not only become horribly overpopulated, but the mood of the overpopulation will be: extremely crabby.